How Homemaking Changed My Life

I’ve written about homemaking, hospitality, and hosting many times on my blog before. Its become such a focus and passion of mine since becoming a mom, but my view of it has really developed and changed my view on things since moving out to the mountain. I always tell people that since I quit my job as a teacher, I’ve been busy being intentional about a slower life. I know that doesn’t really make sense on paper, but since the loss of my father-in-law and moving out to “the country” I’ve really tried to reflect on what is truly important to me as well as how I spend my time, energy, and focus.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my struggles with anxiety and depression. There is a lot that goes into that struggle, and to be honest, I’m still learning about it. And about myself; however, there are two things I learned to be very true about myself over the past year. First, I (like every other female in the world, I’m sure) struggle with finding my identity and worth in things that aren’t actually places that give me value. Second, messes and a lack of organization really throw my anxiety into overdrive. Similarly, tidiness and organization provide me with lots of calmness and motivation.

Since becoming a mother, I think I have had in my mind that a good mom keeps a tidy home. Free from dust, dirt, and dog hair that your kid could shove in their mouths. Our days should be filled with laughter and crafts, lots of play and learning, and I should always be reading and singing. Don’t get me wrong- those things are super important to us and we do spend time on those things. But those things don’t make a good mother. This morning, my daughter and son ran into the kitchen- half naked, slime stuck in her hair, and an evil laugh coming from him. It’s 10pm and there is still slime on the floor because I am too emotionally and mentally tapped to be bothered with cleaning it right now. Does that make me any less of a mom? Nah. Moms, our value doesn’t come from a tidy house, a well rounded child, or our performance as a mother.

As most of you that are married know, MARRIAGE IS HARD. I love my husband more than anyone on the planet. He’s my best friend, and I can truly say that with all of my heart. In my mind, a “successful” stay at home wife makes her husband’s hot meals. She has the house in tip top shape when he comes home so he can relax. She goes out of her way to do the things he enjoys. She is his helper, his friend, and his encourager. She speaks kindly to and of her husband. These things are very important to me still, and I try to do them daily. But sometimes, we have to choose to love one another. Sometimes, I’m snippy and rude. I take my frustration out on him. I’m quick to judge and slow to forgive. Does this make Joel love me less? Nope.. at least that’s what he says. 😉 Am I a terrible wife because I don’t wake up to make my husband breakfast and lunch before he heads off to work? No. Wives, our value doesn’t come from our performance or tasks accomplished each day.

I think one of the major ways my mindset has shifted when it comes to homemaking and caring for my family is changing my focus from the what to the why. It’s not necessarily about WHAT I’m doing, but rather why I’m doing it. It’s not about keeping up with my planner and checklists and meal plans and cleaning systems- although those things are important… its about my heart attitude. God has called me to be a keeper of the home. To be a helper and encourager to my husband. To pour into my children and teach them His ways from the time the sun rises until it sets. My home should be a place of peace. A retreat from the craziness of the world. My home should be a place of comfort, truth, and love. My attitude throughout the day while doing my work should point my children to Christ. My work as a homemaker should be caring for my husband and children’s physical needs (like healthy food, clean clothes, etc.) as well as their emotional and spiritual needs. And before anyone thinks I’m neglecting myself or making myself into a martyr, trust me- I’m not. I have recently been working on morning and evening routines to ensure that I’m also spending time on myself and caring for those needs as well.

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time listening to podcasts and qatching YouTube videos on homemaking. One quote I heard was from Elisabeth Eliot from her book Let Me Be a Woman. In her book, she states, “The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on, all speak loudly about what you believe. The beauty of thy peace shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.” This quote grabbed my attention immediately upon hearing it. When I spend time with the Lord, regularly, it shows. My motivation and my heart attitude is aligned with His will and it flows out into everything I do. My work at home is fruitful, and my attitude is a blessing to those around me; however, when I am not spending time with Him and simply doing chores out of requirement or to check off a box on my to do list, I grumble and complain. I see a house full of things I didn’t get accomplished instead of opportunities to bless others. What we pour into our hearts will be what flows from us. When our soul and spirit are nurtured and orderly, so will our work.

I also want to add that none of the things I do are done because they are “expected” of me as a wife. My husband never once complains that I don’t accomplish things around the house, rather, he comes alongside me when I’m struggling and helps me. He says thank you and appreciates my work. I don’t cook, clean, and do other work because I’m trying to earn love or value from anyone- I do it as a way to show my love and to serve in my ministry as a mother, homemaker, and wife. When we view our work as a woman as a ministry for the Lord rather than a way to gain significance and value, an incredible difference is seen and felt in our homes and lives.

I will be beginning a series on practical steps on becoming a more successful, Christ-centered homemaker. Basically, putting everything I wrote about above into practical, daily steps. BUT, I wanted to share with you some amazing resources that I’ve gathered along the way. Please let me know if you have any more I could add to my repertoire.

• Because It Matters – YouTube Channel
• The Thankful Homemaker – Podcast and Website
• This Golden Hour – YouTube Channel
• The Fly Lady System – Home and Time Management
• Natalie Bennett – YouTube Channel
• Anything by Elisabeth Elliot – because she is an amazing woman of God

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