All Aboard the Hot Mess Express
September 15, 2022
TOOT TOOT!
Welcome, I’m your conductor for the evening. At least, that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Actually… come to think of it, that’s how I’ve felt for the last 5 years. Maybe not consistently, but for the most part, I feel like I’m all over the place.
My house? A disaster most of the time. I could lie and say its because of (blank) event that we had going on last week, but that’s a lie. It’s just like that. If someone had a gun to my head and told me I had 30 minutes to put my hand on a specific object, I’d be a goner. The number of times I’ve yelled in frustration from tripping over or stepping on something is unbelievable. Do we live in complete filth? No, but its enough of a mess to make me feel overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious.
My phone? 78 unread texts. At least 100,000 unread emails. I’m not exaggerating. Not even in the slightest. And where even is my phone? Beats me. Sometimes it’s in the pantry. Sometimes I’ve made it into the bed. Four times last year, I left it on the hood or bumper of a vehicle where it inevitably fell off, was run over by another vehicle, and shattered into a billion pieces. It’s almost comical to talk about- and a lot of times I tell it like a joke- but its incredibly frustrating to be this scatter brained.
Now the funny part. My classroom? Spotless. Organized. Color coded. Everything as a place and will be returned to that place promptly after use. Everything is labeled. There is no guessing on where something is or where it goes. Things run smoothly and my day is enjoyable and (relatively) stress free. I get things accomplished. I’d even dare to say that when I was in the classroom full time, I was an overachiever.
I have no clue why this is. Why I can’t seem to get it together or keep things organized in my personal life- as a mother, homemaker, housekeeper, wife. Maybe it’s because I feel more comfortable? Maybe that’s how depression works? It seems as if every task- no matter how big or small- is like a mountain. The mess around me sends me into an anxiety attack at times. I constantly feel stressed and overwhelmed, (if I had a dollar for every time I type those words in this post) but the thought of actually tackling this impossible task seems just that- impossible. I start a hundred different tasks, incapable of finish a single thing.
My kids, like every other kid on the planet, thrive on stability and structure. I often feel like I’m doing them a disservice as a mom by being so “flexible” with our home and schedule. Tantrums are more fierce and more frequent when we have lazy tv days rather than more structured days full of learning, fun, and exploring. My kids work better to keep things in order when I do the same. Our family seems more content, overall, when things are more consistent and organized.
I’m not writing this post as a success story. I’m not offering simple steps that I implemented in order to overcome this disaster. Nope. I’m simply writing to you- homemaker to homemaker- to let you know that you’re not alone. My house isn’t a Pinterest-worthy, Home Edit, influencer home where things are always clean, cozy, and peaceful. And that’s ok. We love each other big. You’d know this because our house is always full of screams and laughter (sometimes screams and crying). We have plenty of clothes to keep us dry and warm- even if they’re thrown on the floor. We have food to fill our bellies- there’s evidence of it by the crumbs on the floor and the splatters on the wall. We learn and have fun. You can tell this by the crayons on the wall, markers that have rolled under the couch, and handmade pictures scattered around the house. I will always strive to be more structured, clean, and organized. And I pray that God will help me to achieve those things for His glory- but if not, I know He has blessed me tremendously and that my worth as a mom, wife, and housekeeper do not depend on those things.
That being said, I know that God has given me this family, this home, and all of our belongings. He calls us to be good stewards- of our children, time, belongings, money, and everything else He gives us. I know that He is a God of order. I know that I am better able to serve others and Him when I am not spending my time looking for things that are misplaced. I know that I am a more present and peaceful wife and mom when my anxiety isn’t at its peak from the dumpster fire surrounding me.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve looked into strategies and systems from people like The Fly Lady, Jordan Page, The Budget Mom, and countless others. I love these systems and see the benefits, but trying to do all of them in isolation just added another stressor. I’ve been praying about and thinking about my family specifically- what are our needs? Our daily rhythms? Our priorities? Thinking about all of these things helped me to create my new Home Management Binder. I combined all of the aspects of the systems I mentioned before into one central location. My prayer is that I can use these templates, schedules, and checklists in order to help me in my ministry as a homemaker.
If you’d like to buy my planner, I will link it below. I greatly appreciate every purchase and every bit of support; however, my goal is not to make a sale- so if this planner isn’t for you, that’s great. My desire is that other moms who feel hopeless with their productivity might read this, know they aren’t alone, and feel inspired. Like I’ve mentioned in several other posts- when stress is taking hold of your heart, stop and take the Head, Heart, Hands approach.
- HEAD- tell yourself the truth. God created you. Your purpose comes from being His creation, not from being organized and productive. He loves you, every bit of you. He calls you to do His work. He will equip you.
- HEART- memorize scripture to calm your heart when you feel those lies taking over. Pray and spend time with your Heavenly Father who cares about how you’re feeling.
- HANDS- DO something. Use my planner. Use your planner. Use a list you wrote on a napkin. Do something good for your family. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just make progress.
If you’d like to join me on my implementation of the home management binder, I’m posting the good, bad, and ugly on my YouTube and Instagram account. I’d love to hear feedback on how this binder is working for you, or if you’ve tried something similar! We’re all just learning from each other and trying to be a blessing, so let’s do it together. I’ll pray for you, and you pray for me.
